1:5 Gone Brother
by Decipher Philosophy
Summary: Song Fic. Karamatsu changes, and it led him to make a few drastic choices. Warning: Suicide attempt
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I read on tumblr that the Osomatsu-san director stated that Karamatsu is only nice because he likes the idea of being nice, and I thought of this.

It's short since this was more of an urge, and I have other stories to do.

*I chose Sora because when you write the kanji for Kara, it can mean sky.

Song: Give us a little love - Fallulah

Song: Landlocked Blues - Bright Eyes

Warning: OOCness

._._._.

Karamatsu walked alone across the top of a roof's parapet with nothing on his mind while a soft burning sensation dried up and harden his heart. The pressure increased more and more that it set his balanced off. He wobbled a bit, and almost tripped. He sang to himself, "Where do we belong, where did we go wrong? If there's nothing here, why are we still here..." and repeated it a few more times.

The wind blew and strengthened by each passing hour. It pushed him toward the end. A large part of him wished it could blow a little harder so all of this could be just one huge accident.

"It's another time. It's another day. Numbers they are new, but it's all the same. Running from yourself. It will never change. If you try, you could die..."

His eyes fell downward. Hundreds of feet above, yet his legs do not quiver.

"Leave it by it's pain."

Karamatsu saw Osomatsu pass through his mind, yet only his red jacket was clear before his mind.

"Leave it all alone."

A green jacket appeared.

"If I never return, I will never grow."

A purple jacket appeared.

"Keep the door ajar when I'm coming home."

A yellow jacket appeared.

"I will try. Can't you see I'm trying?"

A pink jacket appeared.

They all lined up like a rainbow.

"Give us...Give me a little love."

He took in a deep breath, and swung one of his legs out into the open while the other was being blown by the wind. He swung that leg in and out as if the moment he jumped, he would fly and just fly away to a place where he could hurt no one. Where he could be with people he couldn't hurt, and still be noticed.

"I never had enough..."

He stuck that swinging leg out, and froze there. He stared up at the blue, blue sky and wondered if he was as blue as the sky that was just a reflection of the blue ocean. And he thought about when the sun would depart from his sight, leaving colors of red, green, purple, yellow, and pink across the sky before becoming completely gone. Thus, when the ocean could not take its rays to make the sky blue, he would become black, and blacken the ocean.

"I had enough..."

He remained there for a second more before drawing his leg back onto the parapet. "Heh. What am I doing here?" He spoke coolly. "It surely is quite a view from here, but being this close to the edge is dangerous. My Karamatsu girls will worry for me. I better get off."

"SHEEEEEH!" Iyami cried out from below when a bird pooped in front of him. That led him to accidentally scaring Dekapan who was holding a device that fell on the sidewalk, and went haywire. It flew up like a rocket, and a week signal was thrown across. Only Karamatsu was close enough to have his brain hit by it. The sparkles in his eyes disappeared. The red jacket turned blue. The green jacket turned blue. The purple jacket turned blue. The yellow jacket turned blue. The pink jacket turned blue, and then everything turned black. The orb of his self-awareness fell to the floor and made a bright flicker of white before the blueness of the empty orb was filled with a black liquid.

His heart panicked and gave out. Karamatsu was dead.

Death made her appearance just as she had for nearly the thousandth time since the poor man had been in middle school. She frowned down at the painful guy, and neither hell nor heaven wanted him for he was just that painful. Yet, she saw the shape that his self awareness had taken. She sweetly smiled at the dead sextuplet. "It looks like someone will die today, but a new soul will take form, and this one will be finally judged." She picked up her scythe, held it above his chest, and lightly tapped it to give him life. "Live long, and no longer care." She giggled. "It's the selfish ones who live the longest after all."

"HUAUUUGH!" Karamatsu gasped for air and his whole body tensed. His life flashed before his eyes, and in nearly each and everyone of them, he felt emotions overwhelm him that it felt like a kitchen axe had ran through his back with his guts pulled out of his front. For a moment his eyes still held a shade of blue with colorful sparkles, but after his high died down, they disappeared. Yet, in his orb, a white liquid poured itself in, and mixed with the black, which gave it a grey hue.

His darkened eyes lit up again, but in the color of grey. He stared up at the blue, blue sky with a face of confusion and curiosity. Once his breathing slowed down, and his heart relaxed, he became sober.

He sat up, and imagined a version of himself stepping off of that ledge, and as terrifying that scene would be to anyone, it made Karamatsu see clearly of his mistakes. An unfamiliar pressure in his chest heated up, which cracked the unknown surface that had been inside his body. He could feel something hot spout out of the cracks before completely bursting open. For a moment, he was about to scream bloody murder, but he remained calm with his mouth closed, and eyes that gave out a sharp glint behind drooped eyelids.

What he made himself do next was make himself get on his feet, pat his pants clean, and begin singing a new song.

 _"If you walk away, I'll walk away. First tell me which road you will take. I don't to risk our paths crossing someday, so you'll walk that way, I'll walk this way."_

He got off of that roof, and walked into an alleyway to toss his jacket into the garbage. He went home to find his brothers home, and they didn't take notice of his presence at all. That was good for him since he didn't want to waste his breath on them. He simply sat down on the table, and stared at himself in the mirror as he thought of his plan.

 _"And the future hangs over our heads, and it moves with each current event until it falls all around like a cold steady rain. Just stay in when it's looking this way."_

When the night came, and everyone was deep asleep, he got off without disturbing any of them. He already packed his things earlier despite all of them still being in the house. He probably could've left without having to wait this late, but the right bus came around this time.

 _"And the moon's laying low in the sky, forcing everything metal to shine. And the sidewalk holds diamonds like the jewelry store case. They argue walk this way, no, walk this way."_

Karamatsu did give Chibita a proper goodbye earlier after the others were done eating without properly paying. He was the only one who actually showed him any genuine friendship, and he would also probably be the only one to notice him disappear, so the least he could do was tell him that he was going away.

 _"And Laura's asleep in my bed. As I'm leaving she wakes up and says, 'I dreamed you were carried away on the crest of a wave. Baby don't go away, come here.'"_

Chibita called him an 'idjit', but he supported his choice. He gave Karamatsu some money to help him get by, and promised not to say a word to his brothers. They probably wouldn't ask for awhile anyway.

"You think after 22 years I'd be used to the spin, and it only feels worse when I stay in one place, so I'm always pacing around or walking away. I keep drinking the ink from my pen, and I'm balancing history books up on my head, but it all boils down to one quotable phrase. If you love something..." Karamatsu paused in his singing as the bus came into view, but it wasn't the bus he was waiting for, so he continued singing after skipping a few lines to the song to fit his mood, "But greed is a bottomless pit, and our freedom's a joke. We're just taking a piss, and the whole world must watch the sad comic display. If you're still free, start running away."

He played his guitar, and he did so for many months as he traveled for a home. He sang many popular songs and a few that he liked, but with less flair than before, so he got a lot of money. He made himself work odd jobs before he finally decided to settle down at the last city he stopped at, and he was able to snatch a decent position as an apprentice for a dress maker, so he was able to live a poor, yet decent hardworking life away from the others.

 _"I've grown tired of holding this pose...I feel more like a stranger each time I come home, so I'm making a deal with the devils of fame, saying 'let me walk away, please'."_

Karamatsu stared at his face in the mirror in the bathroom, and then looked down at the sharp, long blades of a pair of scissors. He picked up that weapon, and took another look at his reflection. He took a deep breath before taking a hold of a sealed tight plastic, and cut it open, so he could use his new makeup tools that would hide the face he didn't want to see.

He wasn't rich enough to have safe and decent face surgery, so he opted for and stuck with painting his true face. On his face, he applied heavy blue eye shadow and long fake eyelashes with tons of glitter on them. And from his bottom lids to the bottom of his cheeks, he applied blush and glitter to make it look similar to tears streaming down his face. His carefully painted his lips to look like a starry piece of the universe. He then went to a hair salon where he had his hair dyed in different shades of blue to give it that ombre style.

Some thought he looked weird since he was a man, but by taking a closer look, they began to see an intriguing, mysterious, tragic character, which made people visit the shop he worked at. He was just called that blue dressmaker at first, but soon the nickname, 'Teary Sky' caught on. It was funny to the former sextuplet because when he first came to this city, he made people all around him refer to him as 'Sora'*, and he guessed if he was the sky, it'd always be the rainy season now.

 _"You'll be free, child, once you have died. From the shackles of language and measurable time, and then we can trade places, play musical graves. Til then walk away, walk away..."_

"Hey..." Osomatsu piped up in the room with his brothers."Where's Karamatsu?"

"Hm?" Choromatsu looked up from his book. "He hasn't been home for quite awhile. He's probably out going on one of his crazy adventures."

"Huh." They moved on with their day.

 _"So I'm up at dawn, putting on my shoes. I just want to make a clean escape._ _I'm leaving but I don't know where to..."_

The name Karamatsu disappeared from the former sextuplet's ears. The name still existed in the back of his mind, and some parts of the old Karamatsu could still be seen, but as far as he was aware, Karamatsu who was a sad, doting brother was long gone.

 _"I know I'm leaving but I don't know where to..."_


	2. Chapter 2

Over a year had passed since Karamatsu disappeared, and just now, the sextuplets began to actually worry. They didn't mind the past few months since they figured that Karamatsu was just doing whatever painful thing he was doing. Jyushimatsu did ask at least once a month or two about when Karamatsu was coming home, and they didn't know, but they figured he would eventually.

Now, they began speculating if their Karamatsu was actually dead, but Jyushi actually already searched the city, and when he didn't even find a body, he believed along with the others that Karamatsu had really gone off on a journey, and would come home.

But he never did.

It was soon their birthday, and Karamatsu missed the one last year. They didn't mind back then since that meant more treats for them, but now, they weren't excited for them. They were waiting for him to come through that door looking bright and painful like always, but time ticked away, and suddenly it was almost midnight.

"It's time for us to take out the futon." Choromatsu said, but none of them moved.

"Tch! Where's that Kusomatsu? Doesn't he know what day it is?" Ichimatsu grumbled.

"He is an idiot, so him forgetting is possible." Choro figured.

"Did he forget us, then?" Jyushi asked with a placid smile, looking down at the ground as he did. "Did Karamatsu-niisan forget us?"

"Ah! He's an idiot, but not that big of an idiot, Jyushimatsu-niisan! So don't think that!" Todomatsu tried to cheer him up.

"Then why isn't he here?" Oso questioned at the window where he was looking out at the clear night sky.

They decided that tomorrow that this time all of them were to search throughout the city, but then, none of them found his body or any clue as to where he could be or what may have had happened. They told Chibita about this, and asked him if he knew anything.

"Where's Karamatsu? Ya idjits are finally asking?" Chibita spoke soberly since he was so disappointed that he couldn't even work up a proper reaction. He had been yelling at them about this before, but he had the habit of falling into speaking gibberish that they ignored him.

"What do you mean finally asking!" Oso yelled at the other side of the oden stand. "You mean you knew where he was this whole time, and didn't tell us!"

"I didn't tell ya because you idjits weren't looking fer him! I tried ta make ya ask, ya idjits, but it doesn't matter anymore! That idjit never told meh where he was goin'!"

"Where he was going?" Todo repeated softly.

"That's right! He finally got tired of de way you idjits were treatin' him, so he left! I asked him where he was goin', b't he wouldn't tell me. Now, I don't even know if that idjit's still alive!" Chibita furrowed brows moved upward out of concern since he really had no way to contact Karamatsu at all. He regretted not forcing him to give him some way to do so, but there was nothing he could do now.

The five brothers knew this, and looked at each other hopelessly. Karamatsu left because of them, so there was a chance that he planned to never come home. They still felt obligated to continue searching for him, but he could be anywhere. They decided the most they could do was report him missing to the police, while also trying to find him on the internet. A painful, unlucky guy like him had got to be made into a viral sensation of laughs eventually.

They also looked through Karamatsu's stuff for any clues. They were surprised when they found nothing, but their mother told them about the additional boxes in the attic left by Karamatsu last year. The quintuplets went up there and found four. They bought it down to their room, and each held one box except for Jyushimatsu who just waited for them.

"Aaah, this is going to be painful." Osomatsu commented. He was the oldest so he started with his box. They expected glittery clothes or his painful tank tops, but to their surprise, they found papers and folders. They looked through them to see that they were important papers. Even his passport was in there.

"At least we know that he isn't outside of the country." Choro pointed out, and then opened his box. They expected painful Karamatsu products like various embarrassing pictures of him and a fuck ton of roses, but what they found was a bunch of sunglasses. Not surprised since they had a habit of breaking. This felt more like Karamatsu, but it wasn't painful at all.

Ichi opened his without expectations, but what was inside made him jump away with his cat ears and tail popped out!

"Wha-WHAT IS THAT?!" Choromatsu yelled!

They bravely crowded around it as they looked down at the masks, whips, ball gags, leather collars, and some really questionable, unseen clothing, accessories, and toys. One of them had blood on it!

"It...It can't be..." Osomatsu was in complete shock. "KARAMATSU IS A SADIST?!"

"A dom is more like it." Ichimatsu said as he calmed down.

"What's a dom?" Jyushimatsu asked.

"It's-"

"Don't tell him!" Totty yelled. "Anyway, let's just seal this up, and throw it away! We don't need something like that living in our house!" He ordered, and the box was sealed up and pushed to the side to be thrown out for later. They were all in disbelief of what they saw, so they just bleached the memory away.

Totty finally opened his, but with more caution, and to their surprise, they just found boring looking photo albums. There were five of them.

They opened one to see that it was personal childhood photos that Karamatsu took himself. The next one were pictures of their middle school years. That was around the time the six of them began to find their own individuality. Osomatsu just got naughtier in a more evil kind of way, Choromatsu began taking his studies more seriously, Ichimatsu's puberty only heightened his self-awareness which made him feel shitty, Jyushimatsu got into baseball, and Todomatsu saw how worthless to the social society that his brothers actually were, so tried to split himself away from them as much as possible.

And for Karamatsu?

"Karamatsu wasn't in the drama club until High school right?" Totty pointed out. "So he didn't start getting painful until then."

They looked through the pictures to see Karamatsu with them and others like Chibita and Totoko, and the painful guy appeared...normal. Like so normal that it was boring.

"Karamatsu was the slowest of us, so it's no surprise that he didn't change with us." Oso said.

"You didn't change either." Choro pointed out, hitting a small nerve, but Oso shrugged it off. He liked who he was.

"Before middle school, I remember when Karamatsu-niisan always tried to play the tough guy, even though he was really a coward." Todomatsu told them.

Choro made a thinking face as he pointed out, "Now that I think of it, didn't Karamatsu drop that tough guy act during middle school? The only ones who was really getting bullied was Ichimatsu, and the one who initiated the fights was Osomatsu-niisan."

The depressed one of the sextuplets looked away, blocking those painful memories, but he couldn't help remembering a certain day.

Jyushimatsu seemed to catch on as if he could telepathically see his memory. "It was because of Ichimatsu-niisan that Karamatsu-niisan changed." The purple brother flinched at the truth finally revealed.

"Ichimatsu?"

"Uh huh." Jyushi nodded. "One day during middle school, Ichimatsu was getting bullied, and Karamatsu-niisan came to help him, but he also got beaten up. Ichimatsu didn't like that, so he told mean things to Karamatsu-niisan like how he hadn't bothered to change even a little. Osomatsu-san acted the same, but at least he's not boring was what Ichimatsu said."

"Huh? That's what you said Ichimatsu?" Oso asked. Not necessarily surprised, but it definitely explained a lot of things.

Ichimatsu turned his body away from them and just made a small grunt that they took as confirmation.

Jyushi continued, "So Karamatsu-niisan stopped trying to act tough, and he tried to change himself, but he didn't find that until he joined the drama club."

"Huh. So that explains why Karamatsu-niisan is so bland in these pictures. He's too much of an idiot, so he must've spent most of his time thinking instead of doing anything about himself." Todomatsu flipped through more of the pages until he found a letter stuffed in one of them.

He picked it up, and they all crowded around him. It was already opened, and appeared to be old by how the texture of the paper didn't feel crisp. There was only one folded paper inside, so Totty took it out and read it.

"Dear Matsuno Karamatsu, congratulations! You have been accepted to attend...THIS IS AN ACCEPTANCE LETTER TO SOME UNIVERSITY!"

"WWWHHHHAAAAT!"

"Let me see that!" Choromatsu grabbed it, and read word for word, and it was true. It was a university acceptance letter. "There's no way this could be real. This must be a fake!"

"There's only one way to figure out!"

They called the university with Osomatsu pretending to be Karamatsu to ask about the acceptance letter, and the person on the other line told him that he was accepted to attend over five years ago after luckily passing one of their exams with almost high scores, but he declined despite there being available room for him.

The brothers were still unable to believe that their idiot of a brother was able to pass an exam! It was Choro who would do that, and he failed his college exams!

They wondered why Karamatsu would hide such a thing until they noticed the date. It was delivered a few days after Choro's rejection letters came. It became obvious of what happened with this letter, and why it was kept a secret.

Choro took a hold of that letter, and by some strange power, it was lit on fire.

"Ah! What do you think you're doing?!" Osomatsu took the letter back, and him and Todomatsu saved the evidence. When Karamatsu came home, they needed this to get an explanation of how he could've cheated on the exams.

Choro didn't reply. He just stood up and left the room. They thought about leaving him alone, but fearing that he might also disappear like Karamatsu, Osomatsu went after him.

"Oi, why are you so mad? We all know he most likely cheated off those exams." The red parka brother asked, sounding like it was a bother in doing so.

"DO WE?!" Choro snapped. His fists clenched and slightly trembling, and his head slightly hung down in anger and shame. "DO WE KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT KARAMATSU-NIISAN?! IT'S ONE THING FOR TODOMATSU TO HIDE SOMETHING FROM US, BUT KARAMATSU-NIISAN?!"

"We all have something to hide, fappymatsu." He pointed out, getting an indignant grunt. "It's not really a big deal."

"Not a big deal?! Karamatsu-niisan has been gone for over a year, and we all believed he was just off on some stupid adventure to seem cool, but this entire time he actually ran away! And we have no idea if he's even alive with the kind of luck he has! For all we know he could be rotting in a pile of garbage and we'll never know!"

"Hey, hey, calm down. Karamatsu has the shittiest of luck, but he always bounced back. And even if he did run away and lie to us, there's one thing for certain that we know is true, and that he loves us to the point its painful."

There was a pause. Choro turned around to face Oso with a face that knew it stupidly forgot an important detail.

That's right. Karamatsu loved them. Even after everything they do that would destroy any other person within a family, he remained by their side and loved them. Of course, he ran away because of them and haven't returned for a long time, but it was only a year, and he's been gone for months before. This just being the longest its been.

He'll return.

However, another year passed since then, and the police still couldn't find him, and no videos or anything that could connect to him pop up.

The five brothers went on with their days like usual with barely any changes since they did ignore Karamatsu plenty of times before, that they were surprised and even probably disgusted by themselves of how easy it was just to live without him. But every now and then, the five of them did notice the parts of their lives that Karamatsu left gaps in like who would sew up their torn clothes and futon, who would take up the chores most of the time, who would lend them money, and who would bring the peace and laughs unintentionally, and be their outlet for frustrations.

At night, it was hard for Ichi and Todo to lay out the futon now that they were far too aware of the space left between them. They could just rearrange their places to make the most of it, but touching where Karamatsu should be sleeping on felt wrong.

It almost felt like they had to try to learn to live with his death. They kept telling themselves that it wasn't like that, and that they were still waiting for him. They kept telling themselves that he would come back, and everything could just be like they used to be...They kept telling themselves that that wasn't a bad thing. Karamatsu loved them. He really loved them...He wouldn't have abandoned them.

Chibita must've heard wrong from Karamatsu. He just needed a break, and he must've gotten into some kind of trouble, but he'll be fine, and he'll come back, and everything will be normal. There's no one at fault here. Karamatsu is just late. That's all.

But then their third birthday without him came, and they didn't celebrate it. They ate a bit, but for the most part, they just waited for Karamatsu to come back again, but he didn't.

Ichi and Todo didn't want to sleep on the futon that night. They began losing hope that Karamatsu was ever coming back, and they just couldn't bear to be right next to that empty spot anymore. There were more words that the brothers felt should be exchanged about the futon and others very important things, but...this was about Karamatsu. Nobody was responsible for him. Even if Osomatsu was the older brother, Karamatsu and him never truly shared that kind of brotherly relationship. Besides, they were grown adults. If Karamatsu actually chose to leave them...then that was it.

They wanted to get angry that he didn't leave a note, but Ichimatsu remembered seeing him pack his bags while all of them were in the house, and the other four remembered that, too, so any of them could've asked him where he was going. Karamatsu was packing up to run away right in front of them, and none of them asked because none of them cared at the moment.

They knew they were terrible to Karamatsu before, but now, it donned on them that they truly went too far. The realization left them feeling guilt-ridden and hating themselves because they drove one of their brothers away, and they could've stopped him if they just noticed him in the room.

But they never did.

The first few weeks, it was like someone had died in the Matsuno family, and they were trying to learn how to cope with the tragedy.

Eventually, they began accepting that they were never going to see Karamatsu again despite the fact that his face was plastered all over Japan and a few other countries after having a successful runway show for his clothing line, "1:5 Gone Brother".


End file.
